A confusing week

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotion. On Monday I received an email from my English boss informing me that the British work permit group denied my work permit. With this denial comes the inability to return to London. When I read the email, my stomach dropped and I felt sick. For the last five months I have been planning on my return to London and have been on a hold pattern until everything was ready for me. I have been attempting to fill the time until I return. For those that know me, London is my dream and this is one of my first major crumbling of plans in a long time. I have been anticipating my return to London, visiting all of my friends there (we have been exchanging quite a few emails recently), returning to my school and job, and arranging for friends and family to come visit me in London. All of that void now. Disgusting.

My boss said they planned on petitioning the ruling and had meetings with the senior management at our school. In my mind, I did not see the likelihood of an over-turning. It was time to move on. However, there is no way I could suddenly decide to stay here in the Twin Cities and find a place to live, a job, and all of the such. My mind has been focused on leaving the country again and it is something I need to do. My emotional health would be in peril to stay and give up on returning abroad. So I naturally looked into BUNAC Australia (I work in Australia for four months) and BUNAC New Zealand (I work in NZ for one year). I wanted to leave ASAP! I called BUNAC and did some additional research online…this is all of 15 minutes after reading the rejection email. I found the info I needed and decided to let my mind process everything. I grabbed the I-pod and took a 1.5-hour walk; some interesting ideas and thoughts sure crossed my memory. Again returning to why I need to return abroad and why I am not currently satisfied with staying put. I also recognized my longing to stay put somewhere and to establish some form of roots (Australia would not allow this, London to an extent, but ultimately I am ready for more direction in a career and other faucets of my life).

So many thoughts…I made the phone call to family and friends sharing the bad news. What a great time. I seriously was not too down in the dumps because at that time I had already decided to go to Australia. A whole new adventure! I completed the Australia application and mailed it Tuesday morning. I received the acceptance letter Wednesday and info for Step 2.

On Friday, my English boss emailed me the petition letter and I had newfound hopes for returning to London. His letter was quite flattering and may stand a chance for overturning the ruling. Who knows what the chances are and how long that will take. I composed an email explaining my dilemma to him (Australia option, the need for a next step, no more undefined waiting and such). In the end I think I will give it two weeks before finalizing Australia. I would hate to rush through the Australia process only to find out I could actually return to London (I would purchase a plane ticket, buy a plane ticket, and pay a program fee for Australia). London is still my number one destination.

Five months of LONG waiting, a rejection letter, and a new direction: Australia, submit application and accepted to BUNAC Australia, English boss sends me copy of petition, new hope for return to London, when will I have closure?

I am practically in the same place I was a week ago. Although if the petition does not work, London is a closed deal and I will head to surf boards and sand beaches of Australia.

So here I am again, in a holding pattern.